Free Condoms In Britons NHS fight against AIDS is a Joke. (Warning contains graphic images)

The NHS in the UK offers free condoms to anyone who wants them, so I decided to pay my local clinic a visit to collect a few (For research purposes) and also to see what the fuss was all about, so read on anonymous freaks.

It was a lovely summer’s day as I entered my local hospitals grounds. As I walked through I noticed what seemed to be a small enclosed yard. It was actually a steel cage, and inside it had a basketball hoop where four or five guys walked around in circles, sadly mumbling to themselves with blank expressions whilst staring at the floor.

Got a cigarette mate? The guy said ‘shocking me out of my daydream’. He was wearing sunglasses that covered most of his face, had a bad limp and most terrifyingly, he came towards me at breakneck speed dressed in a dark overcoat, under which he wore a thick jumper. (It was nearly midday in the height of summer and fast approaching 30 degrees in the shade) and he clearly hadn’t shaved in weeks.

Nah bruv…..mi gives up. ‘I replied’ immediately switching to street talk, as the urban self defence mechanism kicked in. No problem. ‘He smiled’ and kept walking. It was then I noticed the sign. ‘Tottenham mental health unit’ it stated in big bold letters. I looked back at the cage reminiscent of the Shawshank Redemption. Looking around just as the penny dropped I realized Mr Limp had done a Houdini, just then a magpie startled me by landed next to me. It was my Q to get a move on and find the dam clinic.

Following the signage I found my desired location. ‘Sexual Health Clinic’ it read in yet more bold letters (So big they must be clearly visible from the Hubble Space Telescope). Luckily the doors were automatic so I didn’t need to touch anything (Ebola being all the rage now) as they swung open, allowing me into the seldom seen world of the STD clinic. Stand here until you’re called! The sign informed me, an arrow pointed at a white line on the ground to confirm this.

Looking around I saw there was a large waiting area, were a half a dozen men and similar amount of women were seated. Anyone I made eye contact with immediately lowered their heads towards the ground. Next! A rather unattractive young lady bawled from behind a Perspex window, and indicated for my good self to cross the fore mentioned white line.

Err, hello…can I get some condoms please? ‘I said confidently’. Sorry? Came the instant reply that I’m used to in London as ‘she ignored my question to try to dissect my accent’. I said can I……She got up without listening and opened a drawer and pulled out a large purple paper bag. She had figured out my accent, and thus finally downloaded the question.

Name? She asked as she returned and sat in her chair. Strangely I then felt the eyes of those seated behind me zoom in on the back of my head listening to every word. Date of birth? Postcode? There you go ‘she said’ passing the bag through a gap in the Perspex like I had answered all the test questions and had won a prize. I turned and everyone was still looking at the floor. One chap was biting his nails staring into space whilst a girl looked at me with an expression that said ‘I hope we never see each other again’ before going back looking down at her phone.

No privacy what so ever. Expected to let strangers know the purpose of your visit. Asked for personal details within earshot of strangers.

If this is the NHS’s idea of promoting safe sex, then I can I see why they have plenty of customers and will do for the foreseeable future.

Ken Roche is the author of ‘The Luke Steel Chronicles’ available via amazon.

An Immigrants tale.

It’s been 19 years since I boarded the plane bound for London town. My youthful plan was to stay a few months, before then moving on. And in those years I’ve met thousands with a like minded plan. But we mature and then listen to people with a different game plan. Fuck it I won’t leave I will stay, you decide. Get a home. Get a job. Get a partner. Settle down and regain your pride. Chill out relax, watch a movie, take a holiday, is the new plan.

But the years roll on, so you go home for a while. Back to the Emerald Isle. But you see no familiar faces smile. You bump into a dear old friend and so and so is married with 3 kids ‘they inform you’ oh and remember so and so? Well he is dead too. So and so emigrated to Canada and no one has a clue what happened to that other guy called Lou.

It’s then it truly stings to the bone. The terrible uncomfortable truth, about just how long you have been gone. You abandoned them for a better life! The guilt screams deep in your mind. But it wasn’t my fault. I had no one that was kind. You see the ones that raised kids and stayed behind. How different would it of all been if I too had stayed behind? You see your family, your loved ones and it all comes rushing back to you. Their sounds, their mannerisms are all still the same to you, except they have aged, have you? You pass that place you played as a kid. But it’s all gone now. Instead it’s a road, a home or a school.

As a first born I had the pleasure of seeing my dad in his prime, a fit muscular young man, doing weights and playing soccer in the summer time. My mom as a slim stunner in hipster jeans and waistlenght hair. She really could of modelled for Marie Claire. Both my parents radiated beauty that is only available via DNA. But there’s Skype and face book now I hear you all say, plus they don’t show you wrinkles or decay.

We immigrants settle in communities full of our own, unconsciously we think we never left home (once around our own). We don’t really need to go home and the longer we’re away the more pointless it seems to hope. The pain of immigration cannot be told, it has to be said cold. Because ours is a life sentence that has to be done all alone, for every immigrant has lived two lives in one.

An immigrant’s tale is always unique, but one thing that bonds us is our statuesque. For our suffering, my suffering and your suffering, our combined families suffering is all but one. So no matter where you’re from. No matter what colour your skin or faith you come from. No matter where you are reading this right now, far away from your loved ones. Remember our struggle is one.

So the next time someone points the finger and says ‘I wish they would, just all go home’. Remember they too would agree with you, and probably prefer to be ‘just home too’.

Ken Roche is the Author of the backpacking adventure series ‘The Luke Steel Chronicles’ Vol1 is available on Amazon. Follow on twitter @Ken1Roche

Sign the petition to get Daniel Holmes out of prison (frightening 10-12 year sentence for cannabis)

Here’s a short list I want you to ponder. Iran. Hungary. Malta. Ireland. Indonesia. Sweden. Japan. Malaysia. Philippines. What have they in common? Get arrested with a naturally growing plant there and you’re in big trouble that’s what.

But the big daddy of them all has got to be The United Arab Emirates, which has the most radically extreme laws going. Get busted in Dubai and elsewhere in the Gulf States with even the tiniest trace of Cannabis & your well and truly fucked! You can and most likely will get you a minimum mandatory sentence of four years. In some extreme circumstances, if you’re caught with any in your blood or urine, this will be considered possession. So make sure not to stand near anyone smoking for say a good month before you go. Got it?

And for all you straight laced folks out there thinking lol lol bloody dope smoking hippies have a beer and watch some football, it’s worth noting that these absurd laws extend to bizarre things like poppy seeds, yeah the kind you might be covered in if you eat bread on your flight! Or alcohol. So be careful what you wish for.

In Iran the Islamic regime has created ‘jobs for the boys’ in mass by implementing the wholesale execution of those convicted of narcotic trafficking. (Isn’t that what all the straight laced cast the 1st stone brigade here want?)  More than 10,000 drug users and traffickers have been shot, hanged and generally tortured to death in the past few decades, but yet the so called war on drugs (Which is actually a war on the individual’s right to choose to experiment with his or her own consciousness) continues. They punish users on an equal basis (How nice of them) as severely as dealers and when someone gets caught with just a few grams of anything can be punished with 70 lashes. Ceremonial beheadings in public squares have been held in Saudi Arabia for centuries.

In Japan a couple years ago, both a rugby player and a sumo wrestler were found to be in possession of a little weed, and both athletes sports careers ended overnight. People who get caught with any type of drug can be fired from their jobs, expelled from school, and have their life flipped, turned upside-down and ruined in the blink of an eye.

 (Pope Benedict XVI welcomes Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah to the Vatican)

Then I got thinking isn’t it odd how the countries with the harshest of penalties are also quite religious? We all know Cannabis expands the mind, which in turn makes users ‘think outside the box’. I wonder what the religious rulers are so worried about?

Stay safe on your travels my friends. But before you go, the point of this post was to draw your attention to the case of Englishman Danny Holmes who is as we speak serving 10 years in Malta for having a bit of cannabis.

Please copy n paste the link below and sign the petition which will take you about a minute.

Hey Isn’t Malta the home of the Jesuits…….just saying. Peace out.

http://norml-uk.org/2013/05/danny-holmes-serving-10-years-in-malta-for-cannabis/

Ken Roche is the Author of ‘The Luke Steel Chronicles’.

Incompetent Thai Police Must Be Held Accountable If Backpackers Killer Escapes.

It was early two thousand and two when I touched down on the humid sticky Bangkok tarmac! I was after landing in the old Don Muang airport. 9/11 had only happened a few months earlier, and whereas I used to holiday in the US before, now the new rules regarding Iris scans, finger prints, as well as the very real possibility of hearing the words ‘spread your cheeks and give me two loud coughs’ from some red neck with a badge, a hard-on and a gun! Well put it this way, it had turned me right off my cravings for pancakes n syrup for breakfast.
It caused me the utmost genuine concern that the ’Feds’ might just bust me with a little baggie had played a large part in my decision to no longer visit US shores. After-all I didn’t want to spend my hols in a prison being treated like a criminal. It wasn’t my first time being in Thailand but it was the big one!

A few months on my own, traveling around a land I swore I’d return to and explore properly, and return I promptly did, and as an added bonus I got to avoid the cold European winter.
It was dark by the time my boat pulled up on the shores of Koh Tao. (In Thai Koh simply means island) I’d spent a few days traveling down the side of Thailand arriving in dirty Surat Thani like many had before me on this most sacred of backpacking pilgrimages.. Next day I hopped on the Koh Samui ‘love boat’ which crosses the Gulf of Thailand and a few hrs later found myself on Chaweng beach. A few days of tanning myself to get the ‘cool well traveled bronzed look’ whilst listening to ‘experts’ convinced me I had to check out the Full Moon Party/Money making fuck fest (You decide) on Koh Phangan.
The party consisted of a huge sound system on the beach pumping out ear deafening techno for about twelve hrs, give or take with various DJs taking to the decks. Now whilst Samui was small Phangan was even smaller. Anything between eight and thirteen thousand lived there depending on who you listen to and most natives claim (believe it not time) Chinese origins and not Thai that stretched back over a century. Now come full moon time ‘which seemed to me to be every Saturday night’. Everyone and their aunty (Thai/Chinese/Farang) who lived there, made a killing from the young tourists.
The ice bucket challenge was the thing to do and I’m not talking pouring cold water over your head to cool down either. Tourist’s party goers were encouraged to partake the insane activities by everyone from the chemist (will get back to them) to the local taxi vendors and hotel owners. Ice buckets were basically a kid’s sandcastle bucket filled with Ice (No brainer) and then filled up with cheap Thai whiskey etc. You were peer pressured into sucking as much and as fast as you could through a plastic straw. Hell why share when you can buy a bucket all to yourself? With fireworks going off, thumping music and millions of fake smiles it’s easy to see why some just get caught up in the moment. Needless to say within a short period you found yourself shit faced and unable to make a rational decision.
The drug dealers or fraudsters who swooped were supplied by ‘said chemists’ with pills they knew would make you sleep/not recall events/vomit. Sh-rooms were in abundance as was weed (same same but different). In bygone days the cops would light up joints, smiling as they took a smoke before passing it on. Once you had inhaled they slapped the magic cuffs on your wrist, and screamed in a Thai version of Monty Python ‘you’re fucking nicked me old china’ before marching you off to the house of pain or the ATM (UP2U). Other times they waited for the boats to pull in and searched everyone.
But this was before it seems the whole island suddenly woke up one day and said’ Fuck um, fuck um, I’m so fucking sick of those fucking fa-rang bastards doing the fucked up weird shit fa-rangs do. If it’s getting off their tits they want, let um have it and we can earn in a few weeks what it would normally take a year of coconut planting (hard laborious work that has now been given to Burmese illegal immigrants or slaves depending on who you ask)
Fast forward to Koh Tao Sept 2014 and the brutal double murder of two British travelers. Hanna Witheridge and David Miller. They were discovered hacked to death on a beach on the island made famous for its turquoise waters, easy living, coral reefs and diving. Word had got round that where’s one time Samui was cool and hip ( That is until moms and dads started arriving on package holidays). Phangan then became cool and hip until police busts, beach rapes, Faliraki style drinking binges, overdoses, those fucking full moon parties and posh rich kids that had watched The Beach one too many times came to town. Now it was Koh Tao’s turn.
Sometimes referred to as the tiny island/nothing much to do there etc now became cool and hip. No apartment blocks or package tourists, you’re not very likely to bump into Moms and Pops, and if that didn’t tempt you it was still a place where you could still get a beach hut with a fan with free cockroaches/ mosquitoes all for a handful of shekels. You could live the backpacker dream in this Island. Not many knew it was once used as an isolated prison to for political prisoners around a hundred years ago (Only Chinese would work there) who opposed the Bangkok elite. You could reinvent yourself, become a proper hippie and get a road side dinner for a quid, a bag of herb for a few more and not be harassed by hookers or hawkers alike.
The Thai media (as has become standard practice when anything really bad happens). Straight away pointed the finger of blame at illegal immigrants as the most likely killer, or failing that possibly a Thai! But he would clearly of been deranged on YABA (crystal meth- most likely supplied by an illegal immigrant) without one shred of evidence. Next up the was La Farang!!! All the while valuable time and evidence was being wasted following this ridiculous protocol. Thailand’s military ruler Prayuth Chan-Ocha got in on the act, one can only assume thinking it would make him statesman like, but it only served in making a cringe worthy moment of legendary proportions. (It surly caused someone in the Thai tourism committee to commit Harakiri in an office somewhere in Bangkok) He ignorantly stated on national television that “beautiful” female tourists to Thailand should not expect to be safe in bikinis. Just imagine the Mayor or Miami or Marbella saying that on the 6 o’clock news.
“They’re always problems with tourist safety! “He continued”. They think our country is beautiful and is safe! So they can do whatever they want, wearing bikinis and walking everywhere. Just when you thought he couldn’t possibly shoot himself in the foot any more he added. “Can they be safe in bikinis? Only if they are not beautiful”.

My heart truly and honestly aches and feels for the families involved, and what they must be going through, and will continue to go through for a very long time I suspect in their quest for justice. I cannot for one moment possibly imagine their pain and suffering. I myself was in Thailand when the Tsunami stuck on Boxing Day and I remember still to this day how the political elite behaved so selfish at the time.

I was also there when Prime Minister Taksin announced there would be no more drugs in Thailand in 3mts! He ordered the police to go out and kill anyone suspected of dealing. 12 weeks later nearly 3000 were dead and it was only after getting a phone call from George W Bush that he halted the onslaught. The bureaucracy, red tape and yet more pointless time wasting instead of coordination and action.

There will be no further mention of this crime on Koh Tao as soon as the foreign media depart as it will be bad for business. Ask a local, and you will get that look, that look you would expect to get if you asked about an uncle who had molested a kid. It will become a no see, no hear, no speak topic.
I noted with interest how the mainstream media in the UK failed to mention that it was nearly 10yrs to the day( September 9, 2004). That Adam Lloyd and Vanessa Arscott were enjoying a meal in the S & S Restaurant in Kanchanaburi. It was owned by a Mr Wisetsingh, a heated argument was started by a drunken Wisetsingh, whom it was said made a pass at Vanessa.
The couple left as they clearly felt intimidated and rightly so! For Wisetsingh followed them back to the Sugar Cane Guesthouse in his car. It was here he shot Adam three times; once in the head, arm and chest killing him outright! Vanessa ran for her life screaming but was chased by Wisetsingh in his car for over 200 meters, before knocking her down and driving over her. He then got out and shot her, once in the chest and once the head.
Wisetsingh vanished after the incident, fleeing a police manhunt over the border into Burma. He later returned to Thailand on October 7, 2004, he immediately confessed to the crime and performed re-enactments of the incident on television for the police (as is standard practice in Thailand)
During his trial, Wisetsingh suddenly changed his guilty plea to not guilty and denied the murders, instead blaming them on one Mr. Ya. A mysterious secretive drug smuggling informant, who he claimed shot the couple whilst trying to protect his handler. Wisetsingh indicated he was coerced into the previous confessions. He was found guilty of murder and sentenced to two life sentences, only escaping the death sentence because of his ‘record as a decorated police officer’ and his initial confession to police.

These latest murders bring to thirteen the number of Britons that have been killed in Thailand in the past five years alone! One foreigner a day dies in the land of smiles, and whilst most are bike accidents amongst the young and Viagra heart attacks amongst the more mature, it generally is a nice pleasant and safe destination to visit.

Hopefully they will very soon find the evil monster that committed this unforgiving crime, and once convicted hand down the ultimate sentence.
So is Thailand beautiful? Yes. Is it safe? Yes. How careful do you need to be? Only as careful as you would in any British city at night. The problem is not safety or street sense, more a woefully under-trained inadequate police service. Coupled with a corrupt aging elitist criminal justice system and a mainstream media incapable of decent reporting. Unless pressure is put on the Thai government from Downing Street, then sadly I think very little will change, if anything at all.

Ken Roche is the author of the backpacking thriller
‘The Luke Steel Chronicles’.